Life without you Bob…

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Sometimes life brings you at a standstill from where the future is so dark that it stops existing. In fact you don’t want to look into the future and when you do so, it’s only a long dark journey with nothing to look forward to. Life has no meaning at that juncture, it has no motivation, at this point happiness and sorrow become insignificant and meaningless. 

It has been a year full of pain and loving memories of you brother. Your death has left us all broken and devastated. Nothing means the same now. Even the air that we breath brings the feeling that you will never breath this fresh air we are breathing, the beauty of the green leaves, new buds, birds chirping, the long wide roads, the noise around, the people, the movies, the songs, the love, the hate, the care and all such beautiful things will exist but the one person who could have made the difference is no more.

Everything we do has memories of you, how do we listen to the songs, enjoy the food, laugh at bad jokes without missing you. Everything is now categorized into when you were there and now without you with us. Anything we remember from past is followed by a wish to bring you back in our lives. Everywhere we go in Pune, it reminds us of you. We never thought we would be seeing this day. Never realized life could be so unpredictable and tragic. We were counting time when you would make us proud with your animation skills and we would see your ads and movies. Now that day will never come and what a loss! There are some of your work preciously stored with us. It hurts to see your work, your snaps but no one wants to forget the pain. 

It is the pain and the bitter sweet memories of you as a son, a brother, a mamu, a friend and a person that lives on when you are lost forever. What makes it worse is the circumstances of your death and that’s the part that we dread to think about and talk. It’s the memories of you that we treasure, your smile and laughter, your bad jokes and ear-shattering music, the times when we scolded you, got angry at you, the times when we taught you Math and algebra, times when we wrote you speeches for your school, the nights we stayed awake for you when you were a baby. 

You truly believed in living in the moment and never worried about future, you were truly a carefree soul with a loving heart and a big smile. Your life was too short in terms of years but you lived like a king and never worried about the future. You firmly believed that “future is unknown so, live in the moment”.

We regret the times we spent wasting in scolding you for  better academics, better career, a better tomorrow. We never thought we’ll never get another chance to tell you that you were simply great, that you were a great brother and son. And that we love you unconditionally and wouldn’t want to change anything in you except your destiny. You were simply perfect and everything else in your life was perfect.

 

A family should never go through the trauma of a young death. Can’t imagine what pain in the world could be greater than this. It kills and tears us apart. Even though the reality is cruel and hard to accept, it exists whether we like it or not and we need to move on. We have lost the real you, the important you, but we will nurture and treasure your memories and keep you alive forever. No one can take away that. In our hearts you are safe Bob, nothing can ever touch you or hurt you.

 

There is a big void in our lives today which nothing or no one can fill but to move on from here we should appreciate what we have with us, take a stock of the present and stop worrying about future. And one thing we need to do is appreciate the people around us and most importantly we should let them know with an open heart how much we love them. And thank God everyday for making them part of our life, and keeping them safe and sound around us.