We will meet again

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A year has gone by.. and we all have missed you every day.. every moment…

Life is not the same anymore… but your memories do give us a reason to smile and laugh, we often talk of our happy old days and remember those small incidents and have a good laugh and for some time, we forget that you are not there with us… like your nephew says.. just close your eyes and you can see bobo mamu and you can talk to him and he often does that… he tells mom, nani why you are crying.. u are crying for bobo mamu, but bobo mamu has become a god now.. so why you need to cry.. and he would join mom in chanting the slokas and bhajan.

Your little nephew has suddenly become big and so understanding. It was tough to make him understand, and his queries about his bobo mamu used to make me feel more bad… but now he realizes and he understands and we both often talk about you, he has some fond memories of you and every night we pray to god, we pray to you, for him you are a god now and you have become a bright star which twinkles @ night. When we go for our walks, he would often point to the brightest star in the sky and say.. mamma see.. mamu is there, walking with us.. looking at us.. I had often read about such incidents in stories and seen in movies … and now it was the same thing happening to me..but that’s how kids are J

I am sure Bob would have surely loved the song emotional atyachar.. as that is what he used to say to three of us during his childhood.. he would say.. di, you three always do emotional blackmail to me. We used to keep asking him, tell us.. whom do you love more..and he would be in a dilemma.. and he would reply.. I love all three of you equally…no more, no less… it was such fun to spend our summer vacation having chess tournaments at home and most of the time the finals would be between bob and dad.. and there were a few times when he did win and would keep talking about his moves… bob I remember how you were trying to teach chess to Urjit this time also… and he was learning with his Mamu.. how to move the horse making an L shape.. how patient you were with him.. I wonder sometimes..and I really feel, that Urjit was so lucky to have you in his life..though it was short.. he treasures your last painting which you did for him.. whenever we talk of patterns..he says… yes bobo mamu taught me what patterns are…whenever he hears the song from tashan movie.. he shouts.. hey that’s bobo mamu’s song as he heard that music for the first time from your animation video… he remembers your last swimming session together when you were not ready and you said… gutoor, I have not got my swimming costume and he replied.. you borrow from papa today.. but you have to swim with me..  :), he also remembers how he was playing with your rat toy and how you hid it as you did not want him to spoil that precious gift….

All those fun games, memory games which we used to play together… when I sit to play the crossword with Urjit, it brings back memories of you, our carom sessions, card sessions… and then how we both used to sit together and try to retouch photos using photoshop… when we were in school and you were just a 1.5 year old, we had taken you to our school and all three of us were fighting and had fixed our time slots as we were so interested in showing off our cute brother to our friends and teachers… friends who always used to get an extra chocolate and toffee just for you..the cute chubby bobbo..

You were such a wonderful person and you learnt your lessons of this life.. this birth.. so quickly… but we are still learning… now, when I think back, I realize you were indeed different from others, so good and caring, so carefree… always smiling… never worrying about future.. living for the moment and that is what you told to mom when you were leaving home.. mamma don’t worry.. don’t take tension…

Brother we are also learning to be like you…. and If there is any truth in the theory of rebirths, then I am sure.. we will be together again for sure… that’s my belief!! 

Moving on with your memory…

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No words can describe what i feel after having lost you dear brother .
It’s been a year that you are gone.but  the loss is still fresh…
Time does heal.But to heal a broken heart might take a lifetime….

It may have been the will of the most high,But no matter how hard I try I still can not help to wonder ,why it had to be you, everyone says “good people go first”,you were good brother,the best i could ask for.

When I remember the times we spent together,Most times I just can’t help breaking down to cry,And it is so hard to move on even when my tears dry.

I realize i haven’t spent much time with you as you were away studying, miss the phone calls which you made to catch up and your short trips home… I remember our travel together to pune from mumbai,how you cracked those bad but funny jokes and kept me entertained all througout the 3 hours drive home. 

I have learnt so many lessons after having lost you.

Life is short 
Break the rules 
Forgive quickly 
Love truly 
Laugh constantly 
Never stop smiling ,no matter how strange life is… 
Be always there for family and friends.

Life is not always the party we expected to be,but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful

And now that you are not there to hear this, I will tell you I love you by blowing one more kiss, and praying that God will rest your soul in eternal peace.

Moving on with your memory…
Bem Di.

Life without you Bob…

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Sometimes life brings you at a standstill from where the future is so dark that it stops existing. In fact you don’t want to look into the future and when you do so, it’s only a long dark journey with nothing to look forward to. Life has no meaning at that juncture, it has no motivation, at this point happiness and sorrow become insignificant and meaningless. 

It has been a year full of pain and loving memories of you brother. Your death has left us all broken and devastated. Nothing means the same now. Even the air that we breath brings the feeling that you will never breath this fresh air we are breathing, the beauty of the green leaves, new buds, birds chirping, the long wide roads, the noise around, the people, the movies, the songs, the love, the hate, the care and all such beautiful things will exist but the one person who could have made the difference is no more.

Everything we do has memories of you, how do we listen to the songs, enjoy the food, laugh at bad jokes without missing you. Everything is now categorized into when you were there and now without you with us. Anything we remember from past is followed by a wish to bring you back in our lives. Everywhere we go in Pune, it reminds us of you. We never thought we would be seeing this day. Never realized life could be so unpredictable and tragic. We were counting time when you would make us proud with your animation skills and we would see your ads and movies. Now that day will never come and what a loss! There are some of your work preciously stored with us. It hurts to see your work, your snaps but no one wants to forget the pain. 

It is the pain and the bitter sweet memories of you as a son, a brother, a mamu, a friend and a person that lives on when you are lost forever. What makes it worse is the circumstances of your death and that’s the part that we dread to think about and talk. It’s the memories of you that we treasure, your smile and laughter, your bad jokes and ear-shattering music, the times when we scolded you, got angry at you, the times when we taught you Math and algebra, times when we wrote you speeches for your school, the nights we stayed awake for you when you were a baby. 

You truly believed in living in the moment and never worried about future, you were truly a carefree soul with a loving heart and a big smile. Your life was too short in terms of years but you lived like a king and never worried about the future. You firmly believed that “future is unknown so, live in the moment”.

We regret the times we spent wasting in scolding you for  better academics, better career, a better tomorrow. We never thought we’ll never get another chance to tell you that you were simply great, that you were a great brother and son. And that we love you unconditionally and wouldn’t want to change anything in you except your destiny. You were simply perfect and everything else in your life was perfect.

 

A family should never go through the trauma of a young death. Can’t imagine what pain in the world could be greater than this. It kills and tears us apart. Even though the reality is cruel and hard to accept, it exists whether we like it or not and we need to move on. We have lost the real you, the important you, but we will nurture and treasure your memories and keep you alive forever. No one can take away that. In our hearts you are safe Bob, nothing can ever touch you or hurt you.

 

There is a big void in our lives today which nothing or no one can fill but to move on from here we should appreciate what we have with us, take a stock of the present and stop worrying about future. And one thing we need to do is appreciate the people around us and most importantly we should let them know with an open heart how much we love them. And thank God everyday for making them part of our life, and keeping them safe and sound around us.